She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
