Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you had me at cake vodka
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
