Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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