I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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