I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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