he wants to bone in the snuggie
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
