So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Who died my cat blue again?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
