I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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