My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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