So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
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