I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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