Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
