my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize