Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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