Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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