Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
