Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
not ubering you a puppy
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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