You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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