Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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