he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
