So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
