and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
