I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
