ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
