Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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