I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
"it" just moved
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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