Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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