Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
