I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
