you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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