I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
