This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
