Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
