Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
