U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
