Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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