You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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