Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
