You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think people are normalizing furries
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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