She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
