At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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