i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
