I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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