I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
