so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
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