there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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