My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
