I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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