I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
