It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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