I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
