so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
