Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
