My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My vagina just recognized that song.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
