What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
