All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
