Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
